Hayes Tough

"There will be times when the path ahead seems dark, but keep following the Savior. He knows the way; in fact he is the way."

The past few months have been a blurr. At times I wake up to hoping it all had been a horrible, terrifying nightmare. As I reflect back, to be honest, it is scary how fast our lives changed in a matter of one month.

It began with two different phone calls on November 21st. One from my Dad. He was uncontrollably crying on the phone. I could not make out on word he was saying...He and my mom were suppose to be on their way from Texas...and they were. They were just getting off the plane when they got a call from my little brother, Steve. He had told them, Hayes' MRI came back and it is not good. It showed that the brain cancer had come back and was in his brain and spinal fluid, which was growing at a fast pace. At that moment....we knew our nightmare had come to pass. 

It took me days....I mean days...to come to grip to the reality that my sweet little nephew, a cancer warrior would pass from this world. I feel into a deep hole...

trying to fight through the emotions that very next day, Tim got a call from his Dad saying his mom was in the hospital fighting pneumonia. 

This is some what common for Tim's mom, Clara, who has had a long history of health problems to get pneumonia and has to be treated for it in the hospital with IV antibiotics...so we were worried but knew she was in good hands and knew she would pull through.

We spent Thanksgiving week visiting her and I spent a few hours a day with my little brother and his wife up at the hospital. It was Thanksgiving night, when they had released Hayes from the hospital to go home. They had spoken to the doctors and they had made the recommendation to start radiation that following Tuesday to help take some of the pressure from the tumor off of Hayes' brain. But, that night...Thanksgiving night..was the worst night of my little brothers life and for Hayes as well.

 They struggled as any parent would, seeing Hayes' suffer so much. He was throwing up blood, mucus and it was so uncomfortable to bear. They took him up to the ER the next morning...and that was the day that they knew Hayes was making his own decisions with radiation. He was not going to go through it.

It was at that moment that we knew Hayes not going to live the life we all had anticipated for him to live. God was in charge. It was in God's hands. And as much as we want to control the outcome we could NOT! It was in God's hands.

   

That was the moment I saw a change in my little brother. He had accepted the WILL of the Lord and so had to as well. I can not even imagine what that would be like as a parent, to come to terms with that. It was very humbling to witness. My testimony was strengthened, my faith was increased as I witnessed such a humbling act.



Steve and Savanna brought Hayes home from the hospital one last time, both Savanna's siblings, parents and all of our family were at their house when they arrived. Hayes arrvied..in his dad's arms. We spent the next two hours holding him...Hayes was so angelic. He was graceful, like he knew his mission on Earth would soon end, and he allowed each and everyone of us hold him. 
It was one of those moments in life that can not even be described. We had a family prayer...and the spirit was as stronger than ever. There was not a dry eye in the house. And myself, 
 could not hold it together. The possibility to not have this little warrior in our lives forever was surreal. It was hard to imagine the void that forever be in our family. My heart aches for Steve and Savanna, as parents, and siblings to wake up with the reality that he was not going to have the chance to grow up with his triplet sister and brother...and that was the hardest thing for me to even imagine.

Steve and Hayes

My mom (Grandma TT) and Hayes

My Dad (Papa Tate) and Hayes

Me holding Hayes

My biggest Hero, Hayes Tate

Hayes' little feet 

Hayes passed away one week from the day he was released from the hospital. He was on hospice the last week of his life, and everyday was emotional. It was extremely hard seeing my brother and wife and their kids grief everyday that week, no knowing when he would pass. Hayes was so peaceful and comfortable that entire week. It was as if he was resting from all the pain and suffering he had endured for the 7 months he went through treatment. I was able to go up there and visit everyday for that week, and everyday I saw him , I witnessed his spirit go in and out of the veil. Heaven was close, it is something that I will forget and will always remember. The time we spent that week, was spent reflecting the life this little boy lived. He was sent to Earth to fulfill a 20 month mission, and he succeeded. He changed more lives in those 20 months than most people change in their lifetime. is story touched so many lives via Instagram and Social Media and many of the lives he touched had no relationship with God. Some had never prayed before, started to pray because of him, and some even started believing in God. It was unbelievable to see the thousands of people who love this little cancer warrior, and it has strengthen my testimony and made me believe without a doubt the plan that God has for each one of us. Steve wrote Hayes' obituary, and this is what it said:

Hayes Tate passed away in the arms of his loved ones after a courageous battle with cancer. Hayes was born in Salt Lake City, Utah on March 12, 2015 along with his triplet brother and sister. He was the youngest of 6 kids. Although Hayes’ time on earth was brief, Hayes impacted more lives in 20 months than most people do in a lifetime. “Sometimes people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a lifetime. It matters not the time they spent with you, but how they impacted your life in that time”. Some people search their entire lives to impact even one life, Hayes impacted thousands of lives. His impact has been felt all over the world. Hayes was an angel. He had an “out of this world” appearance whose soul and spirit was almost palpable. His battle with cancer was courageous. He was “Hayestough”. He laughed and smiled during life’s darkest days and taught each of us to follow his example when facing our fears. Whether it was his various surgeries or his chemotherapy treatments, Hayes replaced fear with hope, he replaced sadness with love. Hayes taught us to smile. He taught us to laugh. Stuart Scott said: “you beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live.” Hayes won his battle with cancer because he lived life to the fullest despite having cancer. Hayes spent more than 140 overnight stays in the hospital, but never managed to feel sorry for himself. He carried a vibrant smile on his face his entire life and embraced the various challenges he faced. Hayes lived each day with a purpose. Each day of his life was a gift. He was a gift. A gift from God. He was perfect, simply too good for this world. His angelic presence could be felt through pictures and his soul connected with each person he came in contact with. Hayes is the true definition of a hero. He is a fighter, he is a miracle and his legacy will live on forever. Thank you Hayes. Thank you for being ours. Thank you for teaching us a greater purpose in life. Thank you for allowing us to care for you, but most importantly, thank you for caring for us. You’ve changed lives.

Hayes is survived by his triplet brother and sister, Heath and Reese and his older brothers and sister Bo, Wes, Mia and his proud parents, Steve Tate and Savanna Thompson Tate.

Funeral services will be held Friday, December 9th at 12:00 pm at the Holladay South Stake Center in Holladay Utah. The address is 4917 Viewmont Street, Salt Lake City Utah 84117. The service will be open to the public. A viewing will be held on Thursday, December 8th from 6:00-8:00 pm. There will also be a brief viewing prior to his funeral services from 10:00-11:00 am. His burial service will follow the funeral at Holladay Cemetery for friends and family.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the Hayestough foundation at Hayestough.org where the proceeds will be used to help little cancer warriors and their families.

The day of the funeral was suppose to be snowy and horrible..but once again Hayes' worked his magic and it turned out to be a gorgeous sunny day for a day in December. In fact, we didn't even need coats! It was one of the tender mercies that we received that day. 

The flowers that were made for his casket were priceless. They were made into a blanket with the letter H. It was nothing like I have ever seen.

The flower arrangement for Hayes'

The program for the funeral

Hayes' hand moldings that were taken the week before he passed

The hand prints of all Hayes' cousins that were made into angels for the viewing

Allie, Mason, Naomi, and Hayes' older siblings Bo, Mia and Wes

The Casket Pallbearers 

They had a balloon release after the burial prayer. 

Balloon release at the cemetery 

HAYES TOUGH FOREVER

Steve and his family

My sister, two brothers and parents at Hayes' burial services 

That night after the funeral, Steve's oldest son Bo, wanted to have a "Happy" party to celebrate the life of Hayes. All of Savanna's siblings and our family went over to their house to eat dinner, watch the video that Savanna's little brother made for Hayes' funeral. It was beautifully done. We all were in tears, laughing and crying at the beauty this little boy brought into our lives. We had Santa come and he even surprised the kids by pulling off his Santa outfit and showed his support in behalf of Hayes' by wearing his "Hayes Tough" shirt. It was priceless.  

We sent up lanterns in behalf of Hayes' and throughout the entire night we felt his presence. It was undeniable. It was indeed a beautiful tribute for a beautiful angel.